Today, I realized that even when I'm wrong...If I feel scolded, I will defend my position to the death!
Here's what happened...see if you can relate.
I had an appointment with both of my boys, during school hours, right after a very lengthy Holiday recess. I knew precisely what time I had to leave in order to pick up 2 children from 2 different schools and then fight traffic all the way to my destination which is more than 30 minutes away. I left my house on time and arrived at the first school where I waited for over 20 minutes to pick up my oldest son...now I'm late!
At the second school, my youngest took his sweet little time and once he did arrive at the office, he realized he had to use the restroom (yes, kids have realizations too...but NOW I'm extra late)
Traffic sucked and the kids lolly gagged into the office because they had fallen asleep and really didn't want to be there.
UBER late!!!
When I walk into the office, I am pounced upon by the first person I see "YOU'RE appointment was over 20 minutes ago!!!" And she whisked my son away as I replied 'OH WELL!"
Then the Big Dog came out to speak to me (under the guise of talking about my son...like I didn't see THAT one coming!) Complete with hands on hips, the first words out of Big Dogs mouth were "You were late AGAIN!"
NO KIDDING! ARGHHHH!!!! Now I'm pissed!
The next thing I know, I'm unloading on The Big Dog about how I warned them when they made the appointment that the time they gave me wouldn't work! How I told them I'd be late! How my kids are at 2 different schools and they're slow and the traffic sucked and GET OFF MY BACK!
To which Big Dog sheepishly replied "I guess we will have to make sure your appointments are after school next time."
Yeah! Ok......that would work...thanks for that. I'm better now.
Then it hit me, Realization #6 of 2012:
"If my approach makes people feel attacked and guilty, they will feel they need to defend themselves and nothing will get resolved. If I notice a problem and simply ask "What can I do to assist you with this?" or "How can we make this easier for you?" They are more likely to hear me and be willing to try."
01/06/2012
