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Mary Mazzoni
Did you know that the Paralympics Games are making headlines in London and are being featured on Prime Time TV in many countries.

TV coverage of the Games is limited in the US - but you and your family can watch wonderful video of the Paralympics at http://www.youtube.com/user/ParalympicSportTV

You can also check out the schedule of events and watch events live at http://www.paralympic.org/

Frankly - I almost never watch television. But I love watching the Paralympics!

Have you and your family been following the Games?
Tara Kennedy-Kline
I woke up to a beautiful, sunny morning. The birds sang outside my window and I could hear my husband already washing dishes and taking care of the morning chores...it was perfect! My life seems really perfect...so then why do I keep crying?

First I cried because my youngest son woke up screaming at me for no apparent reason.
Then, I cried because my husband barked at me out of frustration for being to “easy” on the kid (even though I was doing my best).
I cried because I had to spend 30 minutes trying to get my son to come in the house after he ran.
I cried because I had to cancel yet another meeting to drive him to school.
I cried because I look like Hell and I have to go into the school.
I cried because my husband walked out the door in a bad mood, without a kiss or even an “I love you”.
I cried because the secretary at the school told me “it’s only going to get worse next year...we coddle them here and that won’t happen in Middle School.”
I cried because I turned on the radio and listened to the latest “mommy wars” debate & I got so frustrated with parents who have “typical” kids finding reasons to complain about them or overreact or judge each other’s parenting...and they can’t see how GREAT they have it!

...I cried because, today, I don’t understand my son. Because he has autism, so I can’t teach him, and guide him and reason with him and calm him and discipline him and negotiate with him like other kids...and other moms.

I cried because sometimes it is just so hard and I feel like it shouldn’t be. Because just once, I want to yell and put my foot down and tell him “This is ridiculous and YES, it’s not fair but I need you to just LISTEN to me!”...and without hitting, or swearing or screaming or running or breaking anything...to hear him just say “Ok Mom”.

But let's face it; that’s not going to happen today. What is going to happen today is the sun will keep shining, my kids and my husband will come home smiling and having forgotten all about this morning, and in our "perfectly imperfect" life, this will end up being a "good day".
Tara Kennedy-Kline
Liar, thief, bully, smart mouth, recluse, rebel...labels parents never want to hear attached to their children, yet chances are, it’s the parents themselves who’ve created them.

These “labels” are more accurately known as “behaviors”, and human behaviors stem from emotions. In other words, “The way we FEEL determines how we ACT”.

Since children are human...it stands to reason that their actions and behaviors stem from their emotions and how they feel as well.

If your child is acting out in a way that is undesirable or negative, chances are, they are feeling bad, scared, angry or frustrated about something (or many things) in their life...since they don’t have the same options as adults in similar situations, they act out or lash out to get their feelings out.

For example: If you are a parent, you probably have another adult person in your life. If that person is disrespectful, hurtful, angry or even physically violent toward you...you have options. You can tell them off, you can fight with them, you can have an adult conversation with them, you can choose to not be in relationship with them and/or you can leave. Our children have NONE of those options...

Now, can you imagine the anger and frustration you would feel if the person you lived with had total control over you? What you ate, when you slept, who you were friends with, what you wore, how you were allowed to talk and what you were allowed to do...ALL THE TIME!!! And if you dared to disagree or argue or not comply, you would be punished or disciplined...Can you imagine if that person were allowed to yell at you, insult you, embarrass you or even hit you when you did something they felt was wrong or inappropriate?

How would you react to that person? What would your relationship look like with him or her? Would you trust them? Would you lie? Would you hide mistakes? Would you refuse to speak to them or choose to speak to them with rudeness? Would you sneak the things you wanted? Would you fight back...or fight with others? Would you shut down? Would you run away?

These are all normal reactions that as adults we can see ourselves doing...but in children, we label those reactions as “issues” and we look to treat, medicate or discipline them.
I see this behavior as treating the symptom instead of the disease. If the cause of the pain in our leg is diabetes...do we take asprin for the pain, or do we treat the diabetes?

I’m not suggesting for a moment that children be allowed to roam free and have no guidance or accountability...but I am suggesting that when we engage in correcting our children, we should also be thinking about how we would react as an adult if we were being handled in the same way. If emotions truly are the basis of our behaviors...think about it; what emotions are you building in your child and what behaviors are you causing?

Seek first to understand...then guide in the direction of your dreams.
Tara Kennedy-Kline
Every child has an opinion and should be allowed to express it without fear of rejection or punishment ~ TKK

Ask yourself "What messages am I sending my child about communicating with me?"

For years, if my husband and I were having a conversation in our home, or just bantering back and forth, if either of our kids tried to interject or ask us a question, we wouldn't let them talk. We would usually stop them and say "This is an adult conversation!"

Eventually, my children began to yell and cry and carry on and become dramatic and my husband and I would get angry. Then they started to make up stories or lies to "tattle" on their friends...and my husband and I would scold them.

Then, one day, as my youngest son threw a fit in his room...I got quiet, got down on his level and just listened to him. At first he stopped yelling and asked "What are you doing!?"

"I'm just listening to you." I replied.

"Why are you listening to me?" he yelled

"Why wouldn't I listen to you Alex?"

..."Because no one ever listens to me..."


My heart was broken, but not because I was offended or hurt, but because I realized that I was raising a child who believed he was not worth listening to.
In a moment I understood why my kids were yelling and dramatic and needy and tattling and lying. Because they needed to use any or all of those things if they were going to be heard.

That day, I realized that if I was going to change the craziness that I had created in my home...I would have to start listening to my kids.

Today's Journaling: "What was my greatest accomplishment today?

"You're blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That's when you discover who you really are, and your place in God's family." ~! Matthew 5:19
Tara Kennedy-Kline
"Laws alone cannot secure freedom of expression; in order that every man present his views without penalty there must be spirit of tolerance in the entire population." ~ Albert Einstein

This week we will focus on "Respectful Communication"...listen without interruption, judgement, defense or critique. When engaging in conversation, make it a rule in your home that each person who is NOT talking, will count to three in their head after the speaker has said their last word. Only then will it be a good time for the next person to take "the talking stick" and begin speaking.

Journal prompt Day #1:
What was the best thing about my day?


Ask your child(ren) to answer the same question and REALLY LISTEN TO THEIR ANSWERS...you may be amazed at what they consider to be "best".

To get the full value of joy, you must have someone to divide it with. ~ Mark Twain
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