Tara Kennedy-Kline
So, I'm talking with one of my really good friends about her child and a recent experience they had around money and she asked me my opinion. Because I had just spilled my guts on my pal Regena's "Mad Money Mojo" teleseminar, I felt I was in a pretty good place to give her constructive feedback...so I listened.

Here's what happened: Her child was given a gift card for Christmas, but the items he wanted to buy were not at the same store as the gift card...so Mom agreed to give the child cash in exchange for the card as she knew she would be able to use it later. When the person who gave the child the card found out about this, they immediately got angry and said that the child should NOT have been allowed to spend that money and that he should have been made to "put it in the bank and save it".

I disagreed completely and my feedback to Mom was "If it were my son, I would have had him divide the money into 3 areas: an amount to spend, an amount to save and an amount to use for "good" (a donation, a gift for another child, food for the foodbank, etc...) We don't split those amounts evenly and it's not always consistent. For example if my son wanted to buy a specific item and was saving for it, he would be able to purchase that item first and then put away/donate the rest.

I believe that practice teaches children that there is a great deal of responsibility that comes with having money but at the same time there is much that we can do and accomplish with money other than just spending frivolously...and I believe it gives them a healthy understanding of and feelings about money.

And then, I realized something!

We as parents help our children to form beliefs about money from the time they are very young by the way we talk about it, manage it & spend it around them.

Many children experience a money dialogue that sounds like: "That's too expensive!", "When you get a job, you can waste your money on all the ---- you want." or "Don't give your money away, that was your birthday money." or "Hide that money you got from Grandma...you don't want someone to take it." to "I'm not made of money" or the ever popular " I don't bust my butt working to pay the electric bill so you can leave that light on all day!" But what we need to understand is that all of those statements and comments are creating in our kids a sense of negativity, fragility and scarcity around money!

So my Mom Reality Bytes #12 is:
If I truly believe we get what we focus on, then I am going to teach my children to respect, appreciate and invite money throughout life through:
An understanding of how to make it grow.
Knowledge of how to spend it wisely to get what they want.
And the desire to do what they can to bring joy to others.

Because not only do we get what we focus on, but I believe, when we give, we recieve.


01/13/12
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