Jackie VanCampen
Posted January 23, 2012 by Jackie VanCampen in Inspiration, empowerment, encouragement
What if everything that shows up in your life is by your own choosing? What would you choose? What is your wise heart within asking you to choose that you have been ignoring and that if you did choose it would give you more ease, joy, and glory?

For me it's choosing my own truth and acknowledging the contributions and gifts that I be to myself and others; and choosing awareness so I can break the limitations I have been locking in place which cause me to choose to block myself from receiving from others.

This morning I was thinking about this class I want to take and I kept asking, "What would it take for the money to show up so I can take this class?" The thought of asking my parents kept coming up, and I kept resisting it. "Well, the couple of times I insinuated I could use their support with something that involved money, I received a gentle 'I wish we could help you with that, but we're not really in a place we could do it.'" To which in my head I would respond, "I'm not asking you anyway." So I decided there's no way I'm asking now for them to invest in me so I can take this class.

Then I went into resentment of them; how they put my brother and sister through college, but not me. How they kicked me out their house because I chose my boyfriend instead of what they wanted for me. How they prefer my brother and sister because I'm my father's daughter with another woman. I had so many points of view locked in place.

The wise heart within kept nudging me to go deeper and keep asking where I have been locking these judgments in place and why I perceive I can't ask them for anything.

Then I got hit in the head with a ton of bricks! Holy crap! When I left their house, I determined that I would never ask them for anything even if I were starving and didn't have a place to go. I determined that I was going to make it on my own without their support and that I didn't need them anyway, and that if I ever asked them for anything I would be putting myself under their control once again. It's no wonder I haven't been able to receive anything from them even when they want to gift me! I have a wall with a huge neon sign that says, "No Gifts Accepted from You!"

That's crazy, right? But that's how many of us are choosing to live - from some point of view that we have locked in place and that we have completely shut off from our awareness making it unable for us to choose a different reality.

As a mother, I’m always asking myself, “How can I raise my daughters to be in more consciousness? What tools can I offer them that would leave them empowered to choose for themselves and choose their own truth?” The question also goes in my asking of what I can choose for myself so they can see what choosing looks like. It’s an interesting place to be in as I as a parent because I know that it’s a lot more about how I choose to be versus what I say to them.

So what would it take for you to start asking the questions that would unlock your points of view that keep you from receiving from you and others?

So now that I just had this aha about my own points-of-view I created about my parents, I can choose to receive from them freely, and that’s what I want to emulate to my kids, that receiving is a choice that is ever present for them.

So, mom and dad, what would it take for you to gift me everything that you have been trying to gift me that I have been refusing to receive? I now receive your gifts with the utmost gratitude! Thank you!
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